Global Warming ??? ,,,.,. SNOW STORM WARNING !!!

And they bullshit,.,.,.,.....................
about the world becoming warmer ,.,.,.,.,.,..,,.,.,,,.,.,.
and the glaciers melting ,.,.,.,.,..,,.,
Open your eyes psycos ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.
Its snowing in most parts of the world,,.,.,.,,.,.,.

All the water out of the glaciers will reach back there soon,,.,.,.,.
just let the humans do what they have to,.,.,..,,.,.
I love petrol engines,,.,,. the smell of burning rubber,.,.,,.,.,.

You hypocrites wanna move around in the best of cars,.,.,.,., charter planes which waste feul like crazy to attend a freakin seminar that has no leagal bonding,.,,.,.
And our leaders think they know what they are doing,.,.,.,.

Go and wash ur faces with some water morons ,.,.,.,.

You can't make a difference ,.,.,.,.,. Your too tiny ,.,.,.,.,.., Nature knows how to fix itself,.,.,.,. Some day it will fix the human race too,.,..,,.,. Keep trying !!!,,.,.,. Lets go BOMB another country,,.,.,. Who next IRAN ???,.,.,.,. or PAKISTAN for a change,.,,.,.,. but no Oil in PAK !!!,,.,.,.,. So lets get Iran first ??? ,.,,. what say OBAMA ??

AND they call it the Nobel Peace Prize,,.,.,.,.,. Yeah !!!,.,.,.,.,. why is the destructor always called the Saviour ??? ,,.,.,.,., That son of a gun,.,., yeah in the real sense, LOL.,.,. ,.,.,.,.,. the inventor of the dynamite which led to humans bombing each other, none other than Dr Nobel !,..,,.,.,. Now to raise money to clean his own crap ??????? ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. I don't understand this !!!,.,.,.,.,.,.

The most important thing ,.,.,.,,,. BE HUMAN FIRST !!!!!!,.,.,.,.,.,,.,. Stop bullshitting !!!!!!

Frustrated with what I'm seeing around me,,.,.,.,. wish I had a whip to get their rears red and rusty !!!

Some day things will be better,.,.,,. God's watching !,.,.,.,. He knows what to do !,.,,.,.,. better that you better than me,,.,.,. better than how anyone can think it should be,,.,.,.,.

Micheal Jackson ,.,.,.,. Teri yaad aayi dost,.,.,.,.,.,. Why not actually make this a better place ???,,.,.,.,. for you and for me and the entire Human race ????

Shit happens,, but the sun will rise again to shine upon the seas ,.,.,. to sprout the hope of seeing a brighter, peaceful & beautiful tomorrow !!,.,.,.,. Amen !!!!

Is there "anything else" I could help you with ? ??

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Wondering what that was ???.,,.,.,. Just a new sound of laughter !,..,,. Get used to it bitches !!!,.,,.

woooooooo !!!!! that was one joke I've been laughing an entire 6 hrs now,,.,,.,. ,,.,.

I met my childhood pal Farrokh this morning !,..,,.,. Who Farrokh ??? ,.,.,.,.,.,. The one with the "RR" in the middle and the "KH" in the end !!,,.,,.,.,.,. Okay Mr Awesome is a little too sleepy I think !!,.,.,., , but not before you read this !.,,.,.,. He told me about this chick who sat right beside him , back in the early days of his call taking career at Convergys ,,.,,.,. I don't recollect her name but I gotta name her here,.,., so lets call her SVD ,.,.,. Dont ask me wht that means! .,.,.,. just take it and go !!,.,.,.,. So i was tellin you abt SVD in Farrokh's early call taking days. ,.,.,, She recieved a call from a customer who was American . This guy got all his queries sorted on the call.,.,.,. As she's wrapping up the call, SVD asks this bloke in a very polite and serious tone " IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH ??" ,.,,,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,. And you know what reply did she get ?>? >??>>?>????? ,.....................,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,.,.,..,,.,..,,.,.....................,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,.,.,..,,.,..,,.,.....................,

.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,.,.,..,,.,..,,.,.....................,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,.,.,..,,.,..,,.,.....................,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,.,.,..,,.,..,,. He said "Yeah ! Do you swallow ???" ,,,.,.,.,.,.,. She did'nt get it !...,/..//,.,.,,.,,,......... She just didn't get it !,.,,.,.,.,,.,., so she places the customer on hold and asks half the guys around her if she is allowed to !,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,. FREEEAAAAAAKKK !!!!!!.,,.,.,.,............... What an entertainer !,.,.,.,,.,,,. WAY TO GO SVD !!!!!!,.,,.,.,.,,.,. MMMUUAAAAAHHHH !!!!!!!,.,.,.,.,. you made my day !!!!!! ,,.,.,.,.,.,. I had a team leader who only knew one answer for every question you asked her !,.,.,. and it was "WHAT DO YOU TRAINING NOTES SAY ?",.,.,,,,,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,..,,.,. DUDE !!.,,,. I tell you It would have been the joke of the century if she was SVD's Team leader !,.,..........................,,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,


But after listening to what Farrokh had to say about the crazy things that he's heard in BPOs I discovered something again,.,.,.,.,. something that was very accurate,.,,.,.,. something that was super true.,,.,.,.,.,.,. something that will never change !!!,,.,,.,.,. That ,.,.,.,. I AM AWESOME !!!!!! ;)

Thats all folks !!

And then I open my eyes to see an all new side of me,.,., Stepping into another world ! ,.,,,. Without the dirt around me !,..,,. I'm thankful , I'm clean !!

Just gonna stick to that today !!! ,,.., Thats all folks !!

Good Morning Shrutika !!!

Okay !,..,,.,. So that was enough of suspense for you guys about this mysterious person I was gonna write about !.,,,,., So this is me Umair Memon, the Awesome fella, curtain raise Shrutika !!,.,.,.,.

As you all know she is a sweetheart who has an incredible sense of humor along with two great arts. The first one being , she can talk in English using Hindi and Marathi slang . "She seems to be a bohot bholibhali-gullible types",., Things like adding the word "types" post the adjective is a very normal stlye of conversing for her. She is very well spoken, but she is a joker and makes everyone laugh, and has crawled her way into everyones mind now ,.,.,.,..,,.,.OMG she can make you roll on the floor with tears in your eyes and make your face turn red with laughter !,.,.,

I think I laughed like that after ages !,.,.,.,,

A few days ago all of the employees in my batch of training were listening to our trainer Sumeet, when he happened to talk about the UK culture and how people are very clear about what they want , and also mentioned a comparison with a common rickshaw driver here in India,.,.,. Almost instantly as he completed his comparison, her highness Miss Shruti says something that is least expected , in a very typical accent " Buut Sumeeettt !!!!!! , If idharka rickshawala goes to UK then kya ??? " . First for about 2 to 3 seconds everyone was trying to figure out what she said, almost instantly after which the silent training room turned to a laughter club !

Its so nice having a person like her in your work place. You don't even realize when its time to go home !!! ,.,.,.,. and then again once we were studying a customer's account on the system and Sumeet was asking questions about the customer info that we had, to test our system skills... So he asked Shruti how old is the customer?,.,.,.,. to our delight the date of birth entered on the system was wrong something like 19/01/1900 ,,,,. and her highness was like "BAAAP REE ,.,,.,. SUMEEETT ,.,.,,. THIS CUSTOMER IS NOT OLD , HE IS OLDEN (past tense humor) , FROM PAURAANIC KAAL !!! " ,.,.,.,. All we could do is just look at each other and laugh on the stupidity of the joke and the use of a word like "PAURANIC" which means "ancient" in olden(Pure) hindi !,.,.,,. Even Sumeet who appeared to be a bohot serious types hastay dharun dharun !!!,.,.,. Puot dharun baba !,,,.,. what you people also na baba !!!!!!! ;P ,.,.,.,. LOL

So many incidents keep happening, I don't even remember most of the things. Her abbreviations are just hilarious ,.,.,.,.., like "BKB" "JJWS" "OTSDDP" ie "BALI KA BAKRA" "JO JEETA WOHI SIKANDAR" "ON THE SPOT DHAN DHANADHAN POPAT" and so many more that I may just go on the entire night !!.,. ,.,..,,.

Don't worry if you don't find this funny,., cause after a few days you'll figure it out yourself !!!

That was it from me tonite !,.,.,. Too sleepy now !,.,.,. will write more tomorrow folks.,,..,
AdioS !!

SOrry for not writing !,.,.,.,.

Am just too tired at the end of the day !,,.,.,,.,. Not very habituated to waking up early by 5 and gear up for work,.,.,.,.,.,. Go through training about something I don't enjoy much !,.,.,.,.,. Yet my trainer tries to make things very interesting !

There was once a time in my life that I never liked using high-end mobiles and gadgets just to escape the trouble of exploring it thoroughly,.,.,,.,.,. I rather would ask a friend to dail a number , play a song or even text for me at times,.,.,.,.,.,.,. The most complicated mobile I used was the 9300i (communicator).,,.,.,.,.,. lost it within a week of buying it,.,.,.,. I never even bought too many expensive phones,,.,.,. and now I need to remember the features of most of the models all the way from Nokia , Samsung & LG to ZTE , Sonyericson & skypephone,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. Ironic isn't it !,.,.,.,.,.,. The best feature of the social animal shows bright colours in me "Evolution".,,. The answer !! ,.., LOL :p

Anyways,., Will write about Shrutika and another guest appearance tomorrow,.,.,. Hopefully,.,..,

Cheers All, ,.,.,. Keep the faith !!

Hello SHRUTI !!!!

OK !.,.,. I know I'm writing after a long time now.,,, but i had to today !,.,.,.,.

I've been watching this creature in my new work place name Shrutika !,.,,.., Mostly called as Shruti by everyone !.,.,,,,,.,.,. I should tell you , she is an extreamly sweet girl,.,,..,,. and she is by far the awesomest girl I've ever come across in my life !,.,.,,.,.

After meeting her I rediscover the word "imagination" !,.,.,.,.,..,.

"She also defines the term "Loud thinking",.,,,,. .,.,, and is obsessed with created abriviations for every thing,.,..,.,,. she also is loaded with impeccable sense of mix lang skills.,,.,.,. as in she has mastered the art of using hindi words in a conversation !..,,,.,,.,. And trust me folks it can get tummy cramping funny at times !!,.,.,.,..,.,.,.

Let me first tell you a background of the scene that was going on,.,.,.,.,.

Sumeet is my trainer and we have about 21 people in our training batch,,.,. Shruti is also one of the 21 gems !,.,.,,.,..,.,

Her talking style can make the most serious kinda guy laugh like a conked hyena ,..,,.,. Her comparisons are as much as fun to imagine that to listen !!,.,,.,.,.,. She is awesome,,.,.,,. The moment I think about her , I tend to remember incidents that will make me laugh my ass out !,..,,.,.,.,.

Well done Umair !!!,.,.,. Well done !!,.,.,.,

SHRUTI TALES will start everyday from tonight ,.,.,. ,.,.,. Dont miss it ,,.,. Im telling you ,.,.,. this would proove as the best dose of laughter youve ever experianced !!!!

RUN WHEN IT RAINS !!!! RUNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!

She disappeared like a pearl in a lake.
Many run away when it rains.
Why should I keep living with heartache.
I ask for love , I take the pains,
Was loving her just a mistake ?

I wanted you so bad , I did not see.
Where I was heading , where I could be.
Soon after the sun went down.
Searched for you, every inch of the town.

What I saw , I still can't beleive
I think you always wanted to leave
So why did you say that you would
"Be there" you can't, when you should

Why did I waste so many years
I am so weak , so full of tears
Tears are like rain drops
Grows sadness like crops

So run when it rains
And run before you drown
Run faster and faster, up and down.
Everyone runs when it rains
Its only me who never complains ?

--Umair Memon

HIEGHTINGLY !!!! !! ,,., BRAND NEW WORD DISCOVERED !!!!

You might be wondering what I mean by "HIEGHTINGLY",.,,.,., That may be it could do something to do with Height !! , but your wrong,.,.,.,., I have a friend named Suresh !,.,., he loves English,.,,. although he cannot speak it, he wants to use some words to create an impression on people he talks to !,.,.,.,.,. Yesterday, we were busy discussing about some business problems, when he suddenly started talking about a friend Mubeen who is kind of a money chaser !,.,., A good guy but too money minded.,.,., always desperate for money !!,.,.., ,.,., So during the conversation we were having, Suresh the English poet that we have murdered Shakespeare by saying

" Mubeen bhai soo Heightingly karke money pocket feeling inside aur toh aur soo Heightingly karke bhao tol cheaping !!!! "

"What he actually meant was Mubeen bhai was desperately searching his pockets to find some more money , while he was still trying to bargain with the shopkeeper"

All of us laughed for an hour !!! ,.,., and everytime we met him today we smiled at each other when he started talking about anything,,.,. and ended up laughing almost always !!

In another instance I was just browsing his phone for a contact name I needed, when I came across the a contact named "DUKKAR" , that means a "SWINE" in Hindi..,.,,, So I asked him Who's name he saved with the name DUKKAR ?? ,.,.,. He denied saving anyone with that name,.,,. Then when I showed him the contact Suresh comes up with one of the funniest things i've ever heard ,,,, He asked me where it was as if he couldn't see it,,., then when i pointed it out ,,,,,, he laughs and tells me that its not DUKKAR but he meant DOCTOR ,.,.,.. That was just his spelling for DOCTOR !!,.,,,.,.,. I JUST HOPE HIS DOCTOR NEVER FINDS OUT !!!!

Will write some more Suresh stories soon !!!, ,,., Cheers !

BLOOD BANK INDIA (FACEBOOK)

I started this group about a month ago on Facebook, rarely that I knew what a gr8 thing I was abt to start. This group is basically for donors to join from all around India so that we can contact them whenever there is a requirement. At first I did not have too many people in it, slowly and steadily we started growing.

A week back I received a mail from Mrs Curtis, Her child was hospitalised and we sourced donors for him. She was very thankful to the group and it made me very emotional. Now the group is growing and doing really well. Hope it gets bigger and better and we are able to save more lives !!.,.

I AM SO EMOTIONALLY AWESOMEEEEE !!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAYYYYY !!!!!

Cheers :)

I call this episode "RAJSHREE LOVES MUSIC"

All you guys might be wondering what kinda music am I gonna talk about !,.,., but its nothing to do with music, its something like , when ur parents are screwing you with words .,., its as much fun !!!

So after the party and gathering waas over , Farrokh arrived with SOMEONE !!! ,., No it wasn't a bird, Wasn't a plane , IT WAS UVP!!! ,.,.,. UVP !!!..... Another sweet friend , who has WARNING written all over her face !!,.,, I mean she is a wonderful person to talk to and amazing to be with BUT BUT BUT BUT !!! .,,. oh no,,., if u ever get into an argument with her either shut up or kill yourself !!!,,.,.,. You can't argue with her , she just won't listen !!!,,.,..,

Anyways,.,,., we welcomed Farr, he thought there was some chicken or fish that Aunty speciallises in cooking, but to his disappointment the meal was only VEG !!!.,.,,., Ok im also not a very big fan for Veg food , but she cooks well so could swollow it somehow !!,.,,., I had so much fun watching Farr eat the food ! hahahaha !!!,.,., it was like he was ,anfja forget it !! will upload the pics soon,,.,., Then we all walked out of the house pretending to take Scrappy for his poop walk , and find a place to lighten our smokes. Sometime later we did find a place and started smoking,.,., guess what,, Aunty actually followed us !!!!,,.,.,., and caught Rajs red handed or should I say smoke handed.,.,.,. She was being bashed by words i've never heard of .,. as she spoke in a language which was foriegn to me !!.,.,., but by the look in her eyes and fear in rajs's i knew that she was listening to gr8 MUSIC !!!.,,.,

We laughed over it all night while she enjoyed every tune and every beat of it !!!!

Trip to HEAVEN !!! with PANI RE PANI TERA RANG KAISA !!!!

Yeah, that was like heaven on earth , so refreshing and relaxing, with some really sweet people.

Farrokh (Best Friend) and me met as usual in the morning for sehri(eating before we start fasting in ramzaan), at a cafe named ZAM ZAM near my house. He then told me that we need to leave for Lonavala to drop scrappy, a beautiful, naughty, and very irritating dog who is his gf's pet. His gf is Rajshree akfaknfakn kafsjnkajsnfka .,,,. ok the aknsfnakn askfnasknask stands for the rest of her name that i can't pronounce , I FAILED IN ENGLISH !!!! ,.,.,.,., OK !!! now ,.,., so then from ZAM ZAM we left for Rajs's house then took off in a cab to Lonavala a lovely place in the hills . Her mother is in the Navy and she has a beautiful house there,,., her parents are amazing people, very loving , simple and sweet !,.,,,, I love being with them , makes me feel good !.,..,. anyways.,., when we reached there Farr and me had to leave back,, Rajs then asked me to stay till the next day and that we could leave together. So as u all know ME yes ME , I am jobless for a long long time didn't mind to be there !!,,.,,. It was a festive time for her family as they were celebrating Onam a south Indian Festival.,., I agreed to stay !,.,,.,

Uncle(Rajs's dad) is one of the most hillarous people on the planet , amazing sense of humor and super gestures as well.,.,. the most fun Dad i can ever imagine !,.,,. and Aunty(Rajs's MOM) one of the best cooks i've ever seen.,., We spent the entire day just playing with scrappy and then I fell asleep till the night,.,., when all their neigbours gatherd in their house for a meal. Met a few interesting people out there !,,.,.,. UMAIR LIKES THIS !!!!!

What do i DO !!!!

Its been about 3 years now that Im jobless !~! ,.,.,. Not exactly but i quit my last job 3 years ago.

I was working for a company named Wipro BPO. Yeah !!! it was a call center, but they paid well !! .

Then I tried my luck in business and made some good money and not very long after that did I notice that business was getting bad!.,., well that could be a luck problem.... anyways , Now i got a new problem !!!

Its called the "Umair CANT WORK" problem , I tried to convince myself to go and work somewhere again to kill boredom, but its just not happening any longer, its like i've completeley lost interest in working. I think it could possiblly be cause I saw a lump of money coming in at one point of time and now what these guys wanna pay me feels like eating peanut peal !!,..,. or may be i just am too lazy now .,.,., Whatever it is , I want to get over this feeling, but i don't know how !.,.,, My investments are doing fine and i don't think i'm gonna have a major crisis anytime near but I have so much time that i'm just wasting,,.,. I need to utilize that time somehow in a constructive way !!!!!!

My Best friend Farrokh decided to quit his current job and join another company with me so that i'm motivated to work, but the genius that i am, i made him change his decission and stick to his job.,.,.,. I've done crazy things in the past but i don't wanna repeat the same mistakes again.

I dont know where im heading but i know i will get things sorted !!,,.,. lets see where life takes me next !!,.,.,.,.

Fasting season is in full swing now, Im feeling like praying , but i guess i'm just lazy again that im not doing it on time !.,,.,, God save me , and keep me awesome !!!!!!

Toothache home remedies and natural cures ! !!

Had a friend Karishma on FB, she had a toothache and was very irritated , so i wrote this to her !!
I am cute ??,,,,, nay I AM AWESOME !!!

Toothache home remedies and natural cures,

Remedies for Tooth ache using Garlic
Among the most effective home remedies for toothache is garlic. A clove of garlic with a little rock salt should be placed on the affected tooth. It will relieve the pain and, sometimes, may even cure it. A clove should also be chewed daily in the morning. It will make the cure teeth making it strong and healthy.

Toothache relief using Onion
Latest research has confirmed the bactericidal properties of onion. If a person consumes one raw onion every day by thorough mastication, he will be protected from host of tooth disorders. Chewing raw onion for three minutes is sufficient to kill all the germs in the mouth. Toothache is often allayed by placing a small piece of onion on the bad tooth or gum.

Remedies for Tooth ache using Lime
Lime, as a rich source of vitamin C, is useful in maintaining the health of the teeth and other bones of the body. It prevents decay and loosening of the teeth, dental caries, toothache, and bleeding of the gums

Toothache cure using Wheat Grass
The juice of wheat grass acts as an excellent mouthwash for tooth decay and cures toothaches. Wheat grass can be chewed with beneficial results. It draws out toxins from the gums and thus checks bacterial growth.

Toothache cure using Asafoetida
The use of asafoetida has been found useful in curing toothache. It should be pestled in lemon Juice and slightly heated. A cotton swab should be soaked in this lotion and placed in the cavity of the tooth. It will relieve pain quickly.

Toothache relief using Bay Berry
A paste of the bark of bay berry should be made with vinegar. This paste, applied on the affected tooth, will relieve the toothache. It can also be applied beneficially on the gums for strengthening them.

Toothache home remedy using Clove
Another home remedy for toothache is in the use of clove, which reduces pain. It also helps decrease infection due to its antiseptic properties. Clove oil, applied to a cavity in a decayed tooth, also relieves toothache.

Remedies for Toothache using Pepper
A mixture of a pinch of pepper powder and a quarter teaspoon of common salt is an excellent dentrifice. Its daily use prevents dental cavities, foul breath, bleeding from the gums, painful gums, and toothaches. It cures the increased sensitiveness of the teeth. A pinch of pepper powder mixed with clove oil can be put on the cavities to alleviate the toothache.

Hope you find this helpful Karishma !

Its the "All In" theory !!!

I joined facebook years ago, then suddenly I saw some of my friends playing poker on facebook powered by Zynga. I then started playing poker on FB quite often. It was amazing to play with people from all around the world. Made so many friends in there. I now have more than 15 pen pals who keep writing to me often.

Also what I noticed is that whenever I went "All In" most of the times my net connection would crash !!. I got so pissed that I stopped going "All In". It is only then that I realised that I actually made better chips playing sensibly rather than going all in when I have good cards !.

You see this is how the "ALL IN" theory was discovered by the Awesome Umair !!! LOL.

All my girls just wanted to leave me when they knew I was madly in love with them.

"ALL IN" THEORY

"No matter how good your cards seem , you don't know if you can go "ALL IN" until the river. So don't mess around with your world and don't love anyone so much that you are willing to loose everything. Just play it fair and never ever go all in even with two Aces in hand !!" LOL !!

The moment I stopped going "all in" , I've been surrounded by hot chicks all the time !!!.

***Secret :: Never tell your girl that you love her a lot. Always keep her guessing what you have in mind !!***